Test Driving & Co-habitation

Thinking about the term: ”take her for a test drive, before  you buy.”  This idea that co-habitation leads to marriage is the better way for courtship.

The problem with this idea is when you go for you test drive for a car, the car doesn’t have emotions.  You are not investing your emotions.  The car has no feelings toward you.  If while test driving your potential car and you feel this vehicle is not for you.  The car is not hurt or “feels” abandoned because you left it back at the lot.

Women, we are creatures with emotions like men, we are human and deserve to be treated with dignity.  To deny us our nature is akin to treating us like an inanimate object like a car.  We women need to stop acting like men, How skewed have we women become that we can try our hardest to separate our physical selves from our emotional selves, by living with someone.  Men and women keep build a barrier up, we never really give our total selves to our partner, because we want to shield ourselves from the possibility and most likely the probability of abandonment.

So from the beginning, we never really have a full trust, a full commitment, a full giving of self to the other person.  Because the cloud of abandonment still looms over the heads of co-habituating couples.  If you really love someone you want the best for that person, you also want your partner to be happy and safe in God’s hands.  Well God wants that same thing.  He wants for you to be in heaven with him.  He wants to hold you and have you close to his heart.  Yet, when we have a relationship with God, do we put up barriers with him?  Is this giving oneself to God?  Can we trust him?  If we practice relationship with barriers with those we love.  How can we know and love God the way He asks of us.

A “test drive” used to mean in term of relationships between men and women dating, courtship, the end result was to find a life partner, a marriage.  Have you been on a test drive?  What happens on a test drive?   The seller does not hand over the keys and says “see you in 10 minutes.”

No, the seller chaperones you and the vehicle.  While you’re driving around a few blocks or down the road.  He will point some features out to aid in your decision.

As a buyer you return to the location where you started and begin to negotiate a price for the car.  Now I am not saying that the seller is a stand-in for your father and that fathers are to “sell” their daughters to suitors.

But I do want you to pay attention to the potential buyer.  On his test drive he did not load the car with luggage and head on a cross country trip as the test drive.  He went for a short drive.  He already knew before getting behind the while, what features he liked, color, possibly make and model.  The only thing left is a commitment to purchase the said vehicle.  So is it with life partners commitment to one requires a marriage and total giving of one’s self to someone else.

I know it’s hard because we have seen the divorce rate go up, we have seen so many men fathering children, without really being fathers to the children.  Our concept of God is almost impossible, because in 2013 too many of us come from broken homes and broken families, that finding God and His commitment to us can be difficult.  WE cannot understand faithfulness to another.  When in our own lives, our fathers have left us our husband have abandoned us.  Our fear is so great that we lose sight of goodness, we lose confidence in Man.  We lose the ability to find faithful, self-giving love, the kind that God has for us.

And when we do find a great partner, being that the other is from a broken home. The constant fear of loneliness can be so great the we jeopardize our human relations, in order to continue to lose faith in mankind.

The first time I heard this I thought this person was CRAZY, but now I know it is not in a marriage there must be 3 people in order to make it work, There is the husband, the wife and God.  With God as a central figure in the marriage, you don’t have to rely on your partner, because God strengths your marriage because he is strength when you are weak. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)


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